What's been going on with Kate Part 1: Health

Wow, it's been over 2 months since I updated tis thing. This is definitely a record for me. This has been a really stressful couple of months, and the truth is when I don't have a lot of good news to share, I just don't share at all. So, since a few people I know who live far away actually read this thing, I have vowed to catch everyone up on what has happened since last you read anything here. There is a lot, so I am probably going to have to break it down into several posts.

So about my stomach...When last I left you I was getting ready to have an ultrasound, which I did, and it looked completely normal. Still, I was in pain. My doctor decided that it must be an ulcer and put me on hefty doses of acid reducers and a strict diet. Still, I was in pain. So I had an endoscopy. The procedure itself only lasted for about 10 minutes, but I was given an IV sedative for it. If you ever have a chance to have IV sedation, I highly recommend it. It was definitely one of the top 10 best experiences of my life. The nurses put the sedative in my IV and I started giggling uncontrollably for 30 seconds before passing out. I then slept for most of an entire day. If I was going to become a drug addict, this is what I would be addicted to. When I finally did wake up, I had a note from the gastroenterologist that said "no ulcer, no cancer". In other words, my endoscopy was normal. So, at this point, I was still in pain, but they couldn't find anything wrong with me. I was very, very frustrated. The pain comes and goes, but it happens every day and varies in intensity from kind of annoying to knocking me over. It is pretty hard to accept that I am experiencing all this pain and that there is nothing wrong with me. The frequent pain is also making me pretty exhausted all the time and cranky as hell, which just makes it all the more frustrating that my doctors are unable to find a reason for all of this. The current thinking between my doctors and me is that I have Chronic Functional Abdominal Pain Syndrome, which is related to Irritable Bowel Syndrome only it doesn't have any of the constipation or diarrhea. We are focusing on managing my pain as best we can and that is that. So far, I'm not seeing a ton of improvement, but we are trying different things and I am hopeful that an end to the pain is near. Cross your fingers for me.

Deep down within me the words move in phases

It's October and I am supposed to be talking about eating local foods and taking pictures of myself in the mirror. Instead, I am spending my days clutching my abdomen and avoiding wheat. About 2 weeks ago, I started having all this terrible abdominal pain. At first I thought it was gas. I've had some pretty painful episodes after eating too many bean burritos, so it made sense to me to guess that it was just that. It didn't go away for a few days, so I decided to cut everything out of my diet that could potentially cause gas. After a few days of eating nothing but meat, rice and citrus fruit, I was feeling a little less gassy, but was still having bouts of shooting pain just under my right ribcage, which was sometimes, strangely, accompanied by pain in my shoulder. I made an appointment with my doctor, but it wasn't until October 22nd. Meanwhile, the pain continued and everyone I know had to hear about it. Seriously - even my customers now know about my intestinal pain in great detail. So finally, after getting yelled at by both my boss and my husband, I broke down and called the Kaiser advice nurse who got me in to see someone else yesterday. After describing the pain to him, he said that my gallbladder is on the top of his list of suspects. We did a bunch a blood tests and a urinalysis to see if anything showed up and to rule out other stuff. Everything came back normal, so Monday I am having an ultrasound which should determine one way or the other if it is my gallbladder. Where we go from there, I am not so sure.

I need no protection from my bullet proof plan

We have a reputation at Blue Bottle for being ornery. I think a lot of this is left over from some cranky former employees. I'll admit that sometimes we do get ornery. Sometimes it is for a good reason. In the spirit of cutting down on crabby moments I give you my list of customer pet peeves:

1. Don't bring me filthy personal cups and expect me to clean them. I don't mind giving your cup a rinse. But for god's sake if it has been sitting on your desk for 4 days with the same old latte in it, needs a really good scrubbing, smells bad, or is just plain gross looking don't expect me to fill it. I am not your housekeeper and the 30 people in line behind you won't appreciate me taking 5 minutes to scrub your filthy cup. Trying to be eco-friendly is not an excuse for rudeness.

2) Don't make out with your partner in line. Seriously. I don't come into your workplace and make out in front of you. Respect the fact that this is my job and I shouldn't be forced to watch your gropings. I don't care how in love you are. You can wait until you are not 3 feet from my face to stick your tongue down each others throat. Your behavior is seriously tacky.

3) Get off your goddamn cell phone. I am a person. I deserve the very minimal level of respect required for you to interact with me without a phone attached to your ear. I can't say this enough. It is rude, rude, rude. This goes double for anyone having a conversation of a deeply personal nature. I don't want to hear the details of your recent visit to the proctologist or your relationship drama. Neither does anyone who is unlucky enough to be in line with you.

4) Be ready to order when it is your turn. See numbers 2 and 3.

5) Drop the silly special requests. Yes, I can make you a latte with 11 ounces of milk instead of 12 ounces. Yes, I can use 3/4 nonfat milk and 1/4 whole milk. And yes it isn't that big of a deal to do these kind of things. But these kind of requests are annoying and they kind of make you look like an asshole with entitlement issues. Is it really that important that you not drink that extra ounce of milk? If you need to micromanage your coffee drinking experience we probably aren't the right shop for you and we all need to admit that this is ok.

6) (A special one just for regular customers) Don't expect special treatment because you are an everyday customer. We have a lot of everyday customers and I try to acknowledge their loyalty in whatever way I can. I will start making your drink before you even order it; I will give you a free drink now and the; I will let you get away with parking illegally in the alley; I will let you order another round without getting back in line. I like doing these things, but I I stop liking doing them when people start expecting me to do them.

Open me up and you will see I'm a gallery of broken hearts

I was in such a mood today. I just couldn't shake it. There wasn't even a good reason for it. I was just crabby. I hate when I get in these moods. I take my crankiness out on people I don't want to take it out on, and then I feel like an asshole.

It's fairly certain, though not officially official, that I will be the manager of the new Ferry Building Blue Bottle location. It's a pretty scary change for me because I really, really love making coffee on the alley. But I am pretty excited about the new space and having more responsibility.

Tomorrow, I will shoot photos at the wedding of a couple of friends of friends.I'm completely terrified that I will screw it up. I don't know why I insist on agreeing to do things that I have no real competence in. Lessons here, there are lessons......

Self-portrait Challenge: Contrast Week 3

I have been wearing glasses/contacts for about 22 years now (and yes, saying that I have been doing anything for over 20 years makes me feel ancient). The possibility of having 20/20 vision is completely foreign to me now. Seriously, I kind of think peope with perfect vision are a little weird. But it is also a little weird that I wear these lenses every day that completely change my perception if things. Without them, my world us pretty damn fuzzy. The picture above is actually a pretty good representation if what my world is like without my glasses/contacts and what happens when I put them on.

Going to the optometrist is so much more high-tech now than it was when I was a kid. I went to get a new prescription for contacts yesterday. They took a picture of my retina. Vain as I am, I love seeing parts of my body not normally visible. When I broke my clavicle a few years ago, I secretly loved looking at my x-rays.

But you're still the one pool where I'd happily drown

I've spent the last 3 days answering the question "How was New York?". I always answer that New York was great. I feel silly saying that New York kind of life-altering. It just seems a little stereotypical. Go to New York - think your whole world is different. I am deeply embarrassed that it took me 34 years to get there.

It's all the streets you crosed, not so long ago

Sunday mornings have always been my favorite time of the week. Something about Sunday morning makes me feel entitled to more than my usual amount of loafing. I watch my favorite show of all time or listen to This American Life or some loafing music and drink coffee at home for a change. I stay in my pajamas as long as possible. Sunday mornings feel like a gift.

I leave for New York tonight. I am going for work, but hopefully there will be some pleasure involved, too.

So shoot me a roll of your best paradise

I found out a few days ago that my coworker AJ had never been to In-N-Out Burger, which is pretty much a crime against all that is sacred and holy. Those who do do live in California may not appreciate just how insane it sounds when you find out that someone has never been to In-N-Out, but trust me when I say that everyone I told had the same reaction - jaw-dropping shock. So, today, I got the pleasure of buying AJ his very first Double-Double. I get caught up so much sometimes in a highfalutin food world where I find myself discussing such minutiae as the condition of the soil on the tiny organic farm that my carrots came from, it's nice to be able to share something simple and delicious that I have been eating my whole life with someone I care about. Plus, AJ got a paper hat, which kind of ruled.